I want to join the Illuminati

Right for those of you who do not know. The Illuminati is a secret society (Not so secret) made up of world powers, billionaires and celebs who have a greater sense of enlightenment, religious beliefs, and with the goal of controlling the world from the shadows. It is probably the most popular conspiracy theory out there. Look that shit up. It is creepy, and like any conspiracy it is probably bullshit for the most. However, if it is not, then I want in!

The people that believe the Illuminati how an evil outlook on them. Is it weird that I don’t? A group of people trying to control the world. Could that be bad? Sure. But look at all the crazy shit that happens in this world? Human’s are unpredictable and if a group of people are trying to keep everything in line then maybe, just maybe our world is better for it. They wouldn’t want to unravel, kill the fabric, and backbone of human people. If they did then what would their money be worth to them? If they place order in places of anarchy and chaotic nature then they can keep peace and make their nut too. No one ever talks about them in this light, but they can make up all kinds of crazy scary ideas and write the word evil across them.

The way I see it is…..If joining makes me rich and powerful, filled with knowledge beyond the average person’s understanding, then I want in! I have a lot of creative ideas and I think I could help make things better for anyone and everyone. So many people are rumored to be connected. Like almost every single United States Presidents, and other world leaders. The celebrity list goes on and on……( Eminem, Katy Perry, LeBron James, Miley Cyrus, Jay-Z) Mostly musicians because they put triangles and cover one eye in music videos which are signs of the Illuminati. Hell even the paper currency of the United States is loaded with the symbols. I mean why the fuck is their a pyramid with the All Seeing Eye at the top! If you are all seeing then see me bitch!

Of course there is always that chance they are evil devil worshippers that hold blood orgies and drink wine from the skulls of humans…..if that is the case…..then no……

Also the theory gets really deep. Like a group Reptilian shapeshifters came from the stars of Orion to control the world in human skins. (Think the Queen as a Gecko or Putin as salamander) It is probably the dumbest piece of shit conspiracy theory thought up. I believe some psychic brought it up a few times and since they are all fucking frauds then we really shouldn’t believe it. Yet, there is a shocking number of people around the world that do believe that Joe Biden is a crocodile!

Looking at the positives you have to admit shooting some hoops with LeBron or knocking back drinks with Jay-Z sounds like a cool fucking club! (Oh wait! I forgot that a bunch of people around my age decided to quit drinking to stroke their vanity meat on social media) So I guess they are not Illuminati material. Or maybe Miley will be like, “Tyler do you want to watch a sex tape of Madonna fucking the Pope so hard his iguana tail comes flying out of his ass?” Yes I do Miley, yes i do….

I know the Illuminati was a real group outlawed many years ago….but if it really is for the greater good of the world, it might be worth it. I also know a lot of it is a joke created by a bunch of nobody Losers living in their parents basement who spend too much time on the internet. Conspiracy theories should never be taken seriously. They are good stories that make you think for a second but anyone who looks at the hard truth knows that 9/11 was NOT an inside job, WE DID LAND ON THE MOON, JFK was killed by one shooter, (Probably) So hand me an application, pour some Lagavulin in that human skull and toast to a better world!

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