Holla Daze

So the holidays are here and I was sitting in my roll chair with a bag of frozen vegetables on my foot, and attempting to do my dishes. I accomplished this with minimal pain to my foot and I began thinking that I will be limping into Christmas. I should probably mention how I hurt my foot.

A week ago Monday I was trekking out in the woods about a half hour before sun up. I stepped on something. I couldn’t tell what it was because it was dark, and I was in some brush when I did it. After another unsuccessful hunt in 24 degrees, I eventually made it home and eventually I slept again. When I awoke, my left foot was a bite sore. No big deal. I went into work and was on my feet all day until the pain sank in. So i put that left foot in a brace as I limped around work the next couple of days favoring my right foot. By Friday night my left foot was feeling good again. Back to normal right!? I awake in the morning to a toe on my right foot hurting. To shorten this, The pain spread across my right foot, I have been nursing it for 4 days, and the doctor said its probably tendinitis, (For fucksakes) because the x-ray didn’t show any breaks, but its swollen and red and puffy from top to bottom of the foot. Here take some steroids!

I am no doctor so I will take her opinion. So anywayzzzz……..I was in my chair with frozen food on my foot and I was reaching into my sink to do dishes, all the while bitching myself out for not doing them the night before. I had never felt more pathetic in my life. (Side effect of the steroids = Depression) I was thinking all the while that Christmas was coming and I am in this position. I remembered that a recent Christmas tradition was drinks on Christmas night with some of my friends (The ones who can drink on weekday nights) and this is the only time I will ever have a candy cane in my drink. (You don’t put gumdrops and skittles into a bottle of Aberfeldy 12) But as everyone remembers all bars are closed for reasons that have been said.

So a Christmas tradition was ruined. Nothing surprising. As we age all those magical child traditions for Christmas all fail. I mean should a man at age 30 leave milk and cookies for Santa? If I want to eat memories and drink that poison known as Nostalgia, then maybe. Or I could just eat my own milk and cookies. The little ones never change though, Christmas Trees, family gathering, they still happen. As we age so does the family. They split, pass away, or new members join. The even thought of that child like magic makes my stomach ache. (Side effect of the steroids = Stomach ache) I don’t mean to sound like The Grinch or a Scrooge but these thoughts would cross anyone’s head when they are hand washing a bowl while rolling around the kitchen in your chair.

What I still love about it? Food (White Chocolate) the movies, and specials, the gimmick of it all. The little things. The simple stuff, Christmas trees, food and Christmas movies. (Whiskey) Oh, and family, friends, and love or whatever…..Ah I feel dizzy. (Side effect of the steroids = I’m Dizzy Bitch)

Yeah I like Christmas just fine. Mostly all the stuff that depresses Charlie Brown. (Hey Charlie I only got 2 Christmas cards this year) Maybe in the future I spice it up a little. I will celebrate Christmas, with a little Hanukkah, and some Kwanzaa (Am I allowed?) Maybe throw some Festivus in there too (Seinfeld) Find all the holiday magic! Do not overindulge or you will be throwing up after breakfast this morning like I did. (Side effect of steroids = Vomiting)

I deboned a squirrel earlier. I am going to make chili with it. Sound good? Don’t knock it, till you try it. I am sure we all have a friend who says that when talking about their weird sexual fetishes.

Happy Festivus everyone!

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