Creep

So the other day I went to a Dollar Tree to shop for dog treats and Snapple. While shopping, a little boy walked past me (maybe 4 or 5 years old). He was holding a phone, I assume his mother’s. It’s playing a song I have never heard before, where it’s a kid’s song, but it kept saying stranger danger. He stopped walking and looked directly at me. He started screaming, “Mom!” He ran to his mom and hid behind her legs, eyeing me suspiciously.

What the fuck man? That’s all I could think. That being said, I had just finished mowing, my clothes were covered in dirt, and I had grass stains all over me. I hadn’t showered yet, and my hair was greasy and wild. So I guess I understand.

After checking out, I head back to my truck, with my patient dog greeting me as usual. As soon as I buckle up and drink some Snapple, I hit Spotify and shuffle on my phone. I have well over a thousand songs, and what is the first song it played? Creep by Radiohead. “What the fuck, man!”

I had never felt more pathetic in my life.

Fuck Radiohead

Fuck Dollar Tree

I hope that kid gets kidnapped. (I’m only joking.) But seriously, I hate that kid.