Getting old sucks. My grandma died about a month ago. It was a long time coming (It is for everyone) but it still brings on that old less used feeling known only as grief. My family made their posts about it online. I did not because I didn’t need to hear, “Sorry for your loss” from random people I hardly know or from some people who are just lying to appear decent, which trying to be something that goes against your nature seems scummy in my eyes, but you do you man.
Family dying is always a part of growing up, so yeah getting older does suck in many ways. I had some friends who have died over the years. Not my closest friends but still relevant to me. Health is a big change as you get older. Only a short while ago I felt invincible, but then gout happened. However, my kidney disease is no longer an issue anymore, so maybe there is still a piece left of that invincible life.
October came and went. I was planning to write about Carpenter movies and horror writing, but I ultimately I didn’t have the drive to do it, (so fuck it) and I just decided to let it pass, let Halloween come abd go like usual. I was not going to wear a costume with a mask, kinda ruins the theme. When the covid stuff is gone then maybe I will jave that Halloween spirit again.
I did see Halloween Kills…and it broke me. It fucking broke me! Movies never really break me, but my thoughts are so mixed on it I should write my own review. I can’t rate it, even now weeks later. I hate parts and I like other parts. It’s a mess in my head.
The Chicago Bears depress me, but the Chicago Bulls have real potential. I am tired of old Bulls fans always talking about the Jordan Era. Get over the past and embrace the future. These Bulls need a little work, but they could be the real deal.
I saw Guns N Roses about a week before my grandma passed. It was a good extremely long show, and being on the field of Wrigley Field was pretty cool. Their new/old song Hard Skool is pretty cool.
I have more writing projects to do. It’s way more enjoyable than that cesspool of a job I have. Perhaps I leave it soon? I hope, only because the noose around my neck is starting to make reality blurry. How the fuck do others take it? Is it because they have no dream? Maybe they are scared of change? Or they found what they believe to be their place in life….if that is the case then I am just sad for you…..but in the end it doesn’t really matter. I have been there too long. Time for change.
Getting old doesn’t have to suck. Perhaps the golden years I just a few days, weeks, months or years away. I hope days but I never get what I truly want. (I guess)