Today was my last day at being 30 years old. 30 fucking years old! I am now looking back on my life 10 years ago when I first turned 21. (Holy Hell) Many bottles and many memories were made. Mostly good, some fantastic, others were depressing. 10 years of drinking! This is an opposite sort of parody of the 10 years of sobriety type of posts you can find all over. I mean who actually is ever happy of this feat? HAVE YOU MET ME!? (No) Let’s begin.
I remember my first drinks when I turned 21. They were at my sister’s apartment. Birthday cake vodka shots with my sister…..interesting at the time, but brutal as I can look back on it. My first bottle also came them. The legendary Nightrain Express! A drink I have talked about or referenced many times. I road the train until it was discontinued back in 2016. Nasty bum wine, but the more you drink, the more you loved it. Then the next morning it feels like a velociraptor is ripping your guts out. Over the years I gained a real taste for it, drinking from the neck until it was empty. It sad…no new 21 years olds can even find it these days. It is like Quaaludes for stock brokers. Lost but never forgotten.
Here is a quick list of my most wild times on booze
1. Nightrain Express Bonfire: The beginning.
2. Tuesday Night Apartment parties with the Bros!
3. The 4th of July drunken disaster (Southern Comfort, fireball, and a whole case of Budweiser )
4. Basar’s birthday bash! (Strip club edition)
5. Drinking The Green Fairy (Absinthe) and staying up all night having hardcore sex!
6. Tyler and Shaffer drink everything
7. Tyler and Shaffer drink everything again (With Fat John) Worst hangover I ever had!
8. The screwdriver incident at the bachelor party
9. The day to night drinking New Years Eve Party!
10. Never being cut off at every wedding!
11. Getting drunk and revealing secrets on this blog, knowing damn well that my parents read it!
With the last 10 years behind me, it does come to show that there were the problems. Now I am no alcoholic. I go days without drinking, but it does make a stressful world more appealing. I honestly only hit the bottle harder after I got promoted at work. Then gout happened and all of those delicious craft beers have become dead to me. Whiskey and scotch is all I have left….and that is perfect. That golden amber is the water of life!
I have never had a problem with it. I still work my job, pay my bills, never let it control me. I personally drink it because I enjoy it. It has no control on me and I know it does on some people. Everyone is different. You do you, and I will have another whiskey please.
Happy Birthday to me! (Read my book!)
In The Spider's Web 